Depression: This Is A Fight We All Have To Do Together

"At my lowest point I thought about committing suicide, and if it wasn’t for therapy it probably would not have been my last time."

By Reggie Currelley
February 10, 2020

It’s 80 degrees and sunny for everyone in Southern California, but for me it feels like a gloomy day in Seattle, cloudy and grey. This is what my life looks, and feels like when my depression hits. Without warning, my whole day or evening changes from bright to dark, and the thing about it is, I have no idea when it’ll hit. One moment I can be sitting on the couch enjoying a show, and five minutes later, I feel like the nothing in life matters. This is my battle.

The first time I realized I had mental issues was in my mid to late twenties, and I had just started seeing a therapist. I knew there was something wrong because I would just sit in the living room of my loft apartment in LA and for no reason feel like crying. Now take it, this happened after a good day, nothing went wrong, no one yelled at me, no girl rejected me, nothing happened. It was just a feeling that I couldn’t shake or even describe. That feeling that runs through my body is so powerful and overwhelming that, I don’t want to talk, see, hear or be around anyone. Not even my beautiful wife. The only thing I want to do is go in my bed and close my eyes, because the world is a very dark place for me in that moment.

When the therapist told me I had signs of depression, I was shocked and confused.  Where I came from, mental illness wasn’t something that we knew about. There weren’t people talking to us about depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, or any other mental issues, let alone how to deal with them if and when they did come up. The thing we worried, and cared about was staying alive, and adapting to life in the projects.

I’m glad I decided I to seek professional help, because without it, I’m not sure where I would be right now. 

At my lowest point I thought about committing suicide, and if it wasn’t for therapy it probably would not have been my last time.  

I’m happy to see more people in the public eye are speaking out about mental illness, because, when we were younger we didn’t have our idols or people we looked up to talking about the struggles of mental illness. If we did, I think my two friends and many others might still be here. This is a subject that many people don’t want to talk about or deal with, but I want them all to know. “You’re not alone, people just like you are dealing with the same issues you are, no matter your status.” I will battle with this illness most likely for the rest of my life, but I choose my life, and will help as many people as I can choose theirs. This is a fight we all have to do together, and the first step is “asking for help,” and lots of prayers.  

About the Writer:
Reggie Currelley has starred in more than 35 national commercials for leading brands like Progressive, Zillow, Bud-Light, Campbell’s Soup and Toyota. But his latest commercial – the viral “She Shed” Ad for State Farm, in which Reggie plays the irreverent “Victor”– is the most successful commercial of his career, with over a MILLION hits on Youtube.

Outlier Disclaimer

This site is for educational purposes and not a substitute for professional medical care by a doctor or otherwise qualified medical professional. The information provided by Outlier Magazine is on the understanding that it does not constitute medical or other professional advice or services.

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